Another Lent started this week. I must confess that Lent is my least favorite time of year. Part of the reason for this is that I am just not good at “doing Lent.” A coworker offered me a couple pieces of chocolate that had come with her lunch. She said that she was giving up chocolate for Lent. I quickly snatched them up in order to save her from herself. I told her that I, too, had once given up chocolate for Lent.
It did not go well. I had not only given up chocolate candy, but all things chocolate flavored. This meant no hot cocoa, no brownies or chocolate cake, and worst of all, no Girl Scout Thin Mints or Samoas or Tagalongs. Nothing chocolate crossed my lips every Monday through Saturday of that Lent. I had a little on Sundays since that was allowed. No chocolate went in my mouth, but boy what came out. I was grouchy! I snapped at my family. I lost patience with my students at work. Even my friends noticed a difference in me and asked why I was doing it. I found that the thing I was doing to try to make myself more like Christ was instead making me less Christ-like with every passing day.
So, why do it? Lent is all about appreciating the sacrifices Jesus made for all of us. We are supposed to make sacrifices to better understand what He went through and why. Anyone who is introduced to Jesus will probably be told it is important to form a “personal relationship” with Him. I believe this happened for me when I was a teenager, and from that point on, Lent has been hard for me. I know that Jesus is God and Lord and the Almighty I Am, but He is also my best friend. I hate reading or listening to the Bible readings that tell the story of what He went through before He died. I remember running out of the living room crying during a scene on TV that showed the Crucifixion. All I could think was, “Not for me. I don’t want You to have to do it for me.” Yet, I knew that I was no better than anyone else, so He did it for me too.
The thing is that none of us asked Him to do it, and it isn’t as if He minded doing it. He did it willingly, but seeing it represented on film reminds me that even if it was His choice, it still hurt. Now, every time I sin, I feel like I hurt Him, and Lent just reminds me of that. So, I try to ignore Lent as much as possible because I feel guilty, and then I feel guilty about ignoring Lent, and then I feel bad because I am not “doing Lent,” so I try to do Lent every year.
This year instead of giving up a certain food, I am trying not to complain about things that often bother me. You know, things like when the bagger at the store puts a book and a birthday card underneath the produce that has just had water squirted on it; or when your computer doesn’t work as fast as you want it to; or when someone cuts you off in traffic; or, or, or. See, I find that I complain about a lot of things even when I am alone. This Lent, I am trying to be more grateful and less whiny. So far, I am not doing all that well, which is not surprising. I guess I should go to Reconciliation (aka Confession). Of course, I am not very good at that either, but that is another story.