“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor 13:4-7)
This was one of the readings at our wedding, and it came up again at church a while ago. I remember when my husband and I chose it for our wedding, he got a little scared. He didn’t think he would ever be able to love like that. I told him that this reading is talking about God’s love. God’s love is perfect. The best we can do is try to love like that.
Priests, preachers, and counselors say that love is not an emotion. It is a choice. I’ve heard this statement many times over the years, but it is good to be reminded. Each day we choose to love, even if the way we show it is imperfect. Let’s think about the “patient and kind” part. No one could make me mad faster than my own children when they were young. I know I was not always patient with them, but the love endures. I am not always as kind to my husband as I should be, but that does not mean I love him less.
There are a lot of difficult things that happen in life, and many of these things are completely out of our control. This is when we need to turn to each other for comfort—not on each other in anger. Like any couple, my husband and I have been through financial issues, health issues, job losses, unexpected moves . . . The list could go on, but you get the picture. There have been times when I have been irritable or resentful. Sometimes when we get stressed, we lighten the mood by quoting Jim Belushi’s character in the movie “Return to Me.” We say (sometimes shout) to ourselves, “CALM THE HELL DOWN!!!”
Anyone who is in any kind of relationship with family and friends knows that there are times when they get on your nerves, say something with which you disagree, do something that is difficult to understand and forgive. It is at these times when each one of us must ask ourselves, “What is my capacity to love?” I have found that the love I feel for others, while never perfect, can grow in ways that I couldn’t imagine. If you are going through a rough time with a loved one, remember that you can choose to love that person despite the circumstances. “So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 COR 13:13)