As another Veteran’s Day approaches, I can’t help but think of my cousin who died in the Vietnam War. He never got the chance to be a veteran, and we can never know who he would have been had he lived. I think that is the greatest tragedy when someone young dies—the might have been.
The years during and after the Vietnam War were tumultuous. The men coming back were not honored. They were vilified. We heard story after story about men coming home addicted to drugs. Many were permanently physically injured, and PTSD was just beginning to be recognized as something real. I comforted myself for a long time by thinking that maybe my cousin was better off.
It wasn’t until I became an adult that I questioned my thinking. I believe in Heaven, but I wondered who he would have been and what he would have done in this world. I met Vietnam Veterans who were lawyers, doctors, husbands, and fathers. I grieved all over again as I realized that my belief he was better off only served as a coping mechanism while I was a child.
I recently met a Vietnam vet who is scheduled to have a knee replacement. He has already had surgery on his hips and other knee. He said that when the Hueys dropped them off, it wasn’t always safe for the pilots to land. The soldiers had a choice of either jumping on the way down or on the way up, and if they didn’t jump at the right moment, they might be jumping several feet to the ground. “That takes a toll on your body,” he said. He said it matter-of-factly and as if it was not a big deal. I can’t imagine how it felt to jump out of the relative safety of the chopper into a war zone.
This man caused me to respect this group of men all over again. Very few joined the military willingly during those years. They were drafted. Some found loopholes, and some moved to Canada, but most of them went. They were on the cusp of manhood when they went, but they were all grown up when they came back. Their lives would not be the same as if they hadn’t gone to war, but their lives could still be good.
So, if you know veterans, show them your appreciation. They deserve it.