Where did the teaspoons go? Over the years, I bought two full sets of silverware, and I should have sixteen teaspoons. I now have eight. Yes, I counted. I know thirty-five years of running a household is a long time, but still, where did the teaspoons go?
Did they get tired of constantly being stuck in scalding liquids or cold dairy desserts? Have they snuck over to the neighbor’s because they found my fiber-filled breakfast cereal and skim milk boring? Do they miss Cocoa Puffs and Peanut Butter Crunch as much as I do? Did they sneak out with the medicine bottle after a teaspoon of sugar made the medicine go down? Did one run away with the dish because of a fiddle-playing cat, a jumping cow, and a laughing dog?
Where did those teaspoons go? Years ago, our house was burglarized. Did one thief say to the other, “Dude, forget the old, giant TV. I need me some spoons?” Keep in mind, my silverware is not actually made of silver. I have never owned real “silver” ware.
Okay, so I’ll be honest. Some spoons may have fled in fear after I ACCIDENTALLY put one of their brothers down the garbage disposal, but that has not happened all that often. So, where did they go? How does a family lose something they use every single day? It is not as if we carry teaspoons around in our pockets or handbags. We do not need them to start our cars or shade our foreheads. Teaspoons are not things that we might leave somewhere other than our home.
This is one of the great mysteries of life, and I do not have the answer. All I know is that I am going to have to adopt some sisters for the brothers who are left in my drawer. Eight is not enough.