Who Are We, Really?
I was a shy child, but I didn’t want to be that way. By the time I was in high school, I would look in the mirror and think that there was an outgoing person in there just bursting to get out. At the beginning of junior year, I set her free. I even remember exactly how it happened. They were starting a new youth program at church, and my mom made me go to the opening event. Before I walked in there, I consciously changed the way I approached people. I wouldn’t hang around in corners anymore. I went in and had fun because I decided to. I haven’t been shy since.
We all have an identity crisis at some point in our lives. My biggest one occurred when I was pregnant with my first child. We had been married for almost seven years; I was a secretary; I volunteered at my church. I did all of this until I was diagnosed with placenta previa. Then the doctor told me to quit my job, not to lift anything, not to do heavy housework, and not to have sex. I went from being a wage-earning, tax-paying, husband-loving, community volunteer to . . . what? I wasn’t a secretary anymore. I wasn’t a mother yet, and with all of those restrictions, I didn’t feel like much of a wife. My self-esteem was in turmoil. Who the heck was I?
I realized that society identifies who we are by what we do. This works until something happens preventing us from doing what we normally would. If an athlete bases his identity on playing the sport, who is he when he has a career-ending injury? Our ability to do things can be snatched from us in a matter of seconds—accidents happen. So, I decided to redefine “identity.” I told myself that who I am is how I feel about myself and how I treat other people. I proceeded to do what I could to make me feel good about myself. After the baby was born, I exercised, became a stay-at-home mom, got involved at church again. I also made an effort to always treat people with dignity and kindness.
Society likes to categorize people, and we all fill many roles. It is important for us to remember, however, that the only role that is “safe.” The only role that cannot be taken from us is that of “Child of God.” A wife can become a widow in the blink of an eye, but she will still be a Child of God. Everything that we have and everything that we do can be changed in an instant. Only God is constant. In order to have any true sense of self, any true self-confidence, any true peace in this life, we have to make God the focus.